RUNAWAY CHILDREN

Warning Signs of a Potential Runaway.

Attempts to communicate result in arguments, raised voices, interruptions, name calling, hurt feelings and failure to reach an acceptable agreement.

The child has a network of friends who are largely unsupervised, oppositional, defiant, involved with drugs and other antisocial behaviors.

An increasing pattern of impulsive, irrational and emotionally abusive behavior by either the parent(s) or teenager.

In the state of Florida the number of teen runaways is at approximately 160 per day...

Children runaway for many reasons, the most common is they get too big for their britches.

Mood swings -- emotional ups and downs of preteens and young teens -- can make these years very difficult for many parents and their children. Both parents and teens themselves are distressed by teens' emotional outbursts and have difficulty managing their feelings of distress.

Experts generally agree that the period of extreme emotionality begins at about age 11 to 12. Thirteen- to 14-year-olds are often irritable, are excited easily and are more likely to explode than succeed in controlling their emotions. Fifteen-year-olds, on the other hand, try harder to cover up their feelings and therefore are more apt to be moody and withdrawn. By the time teenagers reach age 16 or 17, they are more capable of taking a calmer approach to life and experience fewer worries and far less moodiness.

Changes in Expectations

Teens must adjust to changes in other people's expectations of them and to their surroundings. Any and all of these changes can leave teens feeling insecure and more emotional. Teens who begin to look more like adults may also be expected to behave like adults. The expectation of adult behavior can put tremendous pressure on young teens and lead to emotional outbursts.

Young teens have considerable concern about learning how to behave correctly in social situations, what to talk about and how to be popular with peers. While learning all this, teens may be extremely nervous and generally excited. Any incident which makes teens feel they've made a mistake is likely to result in an emotional outpouring complete with tears, slammed doors and general depression.

Who Makes the Decisions

Control

Conflicts over control of the teen's life are at the root of most problems between parents and teens. Parents say, "He is not responsible or careful enough to be allowed to..." Teens say, "My parents continue to treat me like I am 10 years old."

Few things are more difficult for parents than trying to figure out how to give teens enough freedom to learn responsibility and self-reliance while still keeping control over behavior that is potentially damaging to them.

Freedom through Responsibility

Parents who begin quite early allowing children to make decisions appropriate to their age are less likely to have problems with teenagers who are demanding "Freedom now!" Children who help decide what to wear at age 5, whether or not to join Scouts at age 8 and when to do chores at age 11 are better able to make responsible decisions about behavior at age 15 and less likely to constantly demand more decision-making rights.

Excessive Control Creates Unpreparedness

Parents who have tried to control every aspect of children's behavior in their young years are rightly worried about their children's demands for more freedom in the teen years. Chances are these children are unprepared to make decisions for themselves.

Many parents find it helpful to give teens as little restriction as they can handle, while still making it clear there are certain aspects of behavior over which the parents will retain control.

sharlene's Angels On Earth Inc.
501c3 Ministry that helps survivors of violence and abuse
954-251-4344 fax: 954-251-4345
angelsonearth@myway.com
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